I've had it. I'm moving to Bollywood. I know I've talked about this before, but this time I'm serious. After my seminar is over this summer, I'm going to find the magic door that goes through into bizarro India, where everything works like the movies, and I'm not coming back. I'm tired of real life and its dramas, its hurting people, its confusion, its messes. I'm going to spend my days fixing up my hill station bungalow, playing cricket with the neighborhood kids, helping out at the local museum, sitting on the porch with a cup of tea, chatting with the neighbors. And my nights - "our" nights, I should say, as Akshaye will be there - at the nightclub, dancing away and occasionally cheering on the local boy who has suddenly morphed into a phenomenally good dancer.
Oh, it won't be perfect. I may cry, but my tears will actually make me feel better. I may have to run through the jungle in my pajamas with a flashlight, but I'll find what I'm looking for (or at the very least an elephant, which will do in a pinch). Akshaye may leave from time to time, off on a noble hero-type mission involving his favorite professor or a stranded journalist or something, because that's the kind of guy he is, but he'll always come back, dusty and worn and even more full of love for our little world. There will be problems. But they will be solved by trying to do the right thing, and they'll be over within four hours.
Aside: not really. Real life has too many precious things among all the messes, and there's so much to learn from it all, and I wouldn't give them up for anything. But I'm exhausted, and it seems my corner of the world is getting hit hard lately, and I don't know how to handle one more sad friend, one more injured person, one more draining situation. But if they come up, I will handle them, because that's what real people do. Unless they come up in July, in which case, screw you guys, I'm going to India.
Second aside: I don't think I've ever seen a museum in a Bollywood film. Which is probably because Bollyhoo's movie hasn't been made yet.