Poptique brought this movie to my attention earlier in the year, and I'm so glad. It's so 70s wackadoodle masala fun. In fact, I enjoyed watching it so much that it's only fair you have some fun with it too. Let's recreate Zakhmee together, shall we? Write down your most creative, masalsariffic choices for words in the following list, then add them to the main text as you read.
- family member
- mythological figure
- Christmas carol
- derogatory term
- kitchen implement
- municipal building
- animal (plural)
- piece of household furniture
- English-language song often heard at sporting events
- common household object
- item often used on Diwali
- ancient culture
- mode of transportation
- body part
- another body part (plural)
- yet another body part (plural)
- set often seen in 1970s masala movies
- noun (plural)
- a different mode of transport
Zakhemee opens with Sunil Dutt retrieving his ___1___ from the mountains. He is late to arrive, but she has been in the capable, caring hands of Asha Parekh, her ___2___. They have, for a reason I cannot intuit, made a snowman of Santa Claus that looks a lot more like ___3___ wearing a crocheted sun hat and umbrella.
Asha joins them on their drive back to the airport but they are snowed in overnight; fortunately Sunil had packed his ___4___ lungi,
which I'd like to think is an integral factor in Asha's burgeoning love for him. She sings a really strange song about it, blending a fantasy lunar snowscape with a weird version of ___5___.
Back in Bombay, Sunil's younger brothers Rakesh Roshan and Tariq are total ___6___. It's an interesting move to have the hero's brothers play the comic relief, most notably because it gives that arc waaaay more presence than usual, though they are also given other things to do, so it's not all bad. On the eve of Sunil and Asha's ___7___, Sunil gets a frantic phone call from his business partner, so he races to their office only to witness his partner's murder at the hands of Imtiaz (whose character's name is Tiger, which is much more fun to say, so I will use that instead). Tiger escapes after threatening to kill all of Sunil's family if Sunil tells the police anything other than that he himself committed the murder. Sunil then kneels over his friend's body and makes the classic film move of touching the ___8___ and literally getting the blood on his hands to boot. Nice of him to back up the villain's story so willingly, especially since the killer did not have gloves on when wielding he knife and he could have been cleared right away.
|See? Not amused.
|Too bad they didn't use Esquire Party Book or Biggles Takes a Hand instead.
Kidnapping a judge's daughter (Reena Roy) sounds like a great idea to me. Reena is what I think can safely be called a "___14___" or "pistol"
and is completely underwhelmed by their attempt to woo her during the truly fantastic song "Nothing Is Impossible," which takes place at a disco-___15___-themed club that even features a girl band.
They eventually kidnap Reena by pretending to help fix her ___16___. Reena gets on board with the scheme when it occurs to her that being kidnapped might bring her instant fame and that the whole enterprise will be a fantastic adventure. I appreciate her can-do spirit. In a convenient outbreak of Stockholm Syndrome, Reena falls for Rakesh when he tries to...whatever the medical value is of sucking blood from a wound on her ___17___ that couldn't possibly have included any venom.
|If I had to see it, so do you.
Meanwhile, Sunil has managed go get out of jail and head back to Asha and his sister, helped by digusing himself during a Holi song whose subtitled lyrics hint at a festival zombie invasion,
and others sport sleeveless black shirts with giant cut-outs exposing their ___18___ and ___19___.
In the US, you can purchase a 30-day pass to Zakhmee (with subtitles!) on youtube for $.99 through Bolly N Beyond (which seems to be a Shemaroo channel). I'm not sure of its availability in other countries; Indie Quill reported that this option does not exist in India. WTF, SHEMAROO? You don't want to let people in the country from which this movie comes to have reasonable, feasible access to it? Maybe you do deserve all the piracy you suffer from.
Blog equivalent of the funny footage that runs under the end credits: a collage of my favorite outfits from this film. Helen above, was it hard to choose.