Sassy Gay Friend may have reached the end of his rope with YRF ladies
If you have no idea what I'm talking about, see the real Sassy Gay Friend on the Second City Network!)
Meet Pooja from Lamhe. She is in love with Viren.
Viren is old enough to be her father and was, in fact, in love with her mother—and still is, almost 20 years later.
This fate could've been avoided if she'd had a Sassy Gay Friend—or any competent adults around her at all, really!
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POOJA (lying on her bed, cuddling a giant teddy bear)
Sigh.
SASSY GAY FRIEND
Flounces into her room in full maharaja getup,
adjusting his turban before perching delicately on the edge of her bed while admiring the curly toes on his shoes.
adjusting his turban before perching delicately on the edge of her bed while admiring the curly toes on his shoes.
Pooja, doll, why are you so hung up on this guy? Viren is a miserable SOB who has smiled exactly once post the death of his true love—who, I might add, was YOUR MOTHER.
POOJA (sighing)
Poor Viren.
SGF
He's obsessed. For, like, 18 years.
POOJA
But...
SGF (continuing)
With a dead woman.
POOJA
So sad....
SGF (working up a full head of steam)
Who never loved him.
POOJA
Oh my heart just breaks....
SGF (visibly irritated)
Who is YOUR MOTHER.
POOJA
I did try to point that out to him.
SGF (snatching away her teddy bear)
And yet you insist on piling on the cray-cray. That's right, I've seen your scrapbook, missy! He's even kind of your...I don't know what, patron? benefactor? guardian? I know it's the done thing in novels and all, but, girl, this is 1991. Ew!
POOJA
But he was hardly ever around! It's Dai Jaa who raised me!
SGF
Who also raised him, I might add. That kinda makes him your brother, n'est-ce pas?
POOJA (scrunching her face in thought)
Ummm....
SGF (making a dismissive gesture)
Let's not even go there. One note of incestuous stench is more than enough, thank you very much. So to recap the pragmatics, he voluntarily shouldered the responsibility of raising you and then weaseled out of it in all but the most perfunctory of ways. In fact, he seems to avoid you deliberately.
POOJA
He's such an important businessman.
SGF (throwing the teddy bear at her)
Oh don't even! Don't make excuses for this dead-inside, delusional Splenda-daddy! He's even told you he's in love with a dead woman, YOUR MOTHER. This is what we call a full set of matching Louis Vuitton steamer trunks of baggage.
POOJA
But....
SGF
Hops off the bed to give Pooja the full view of his hand-on-hip stance of disbelief.
OH WAIT, HE DID THAT. Literally!POOJA (dreamily)
I saw stars.
SGF
Starts to walk away from Pooja
but is momentarily distracted by his many rings.
but is momentarily distracted by his many rings.
Oooh, this job has the best accessories. J'adore!
Remembers the task at hand and turns back to Pooja.
Right. That's it. He ignores you, smacks you, and loves your mother? I am so done with you. May you get what you wish for, you pathetic little freak.
To audience.
She really is a stupid bitch.
Flips the end of his silk shawl over his shoulder.
Seriously, not to be all girl who cried wolf, but she might just be the stupidest bitch I've ever met, and I've known quite a few, let me tell you. 
Comments
That matching LV trunks had me go hehehe. May SGF continue to help more YRF ladies.. keep 'em coming!
And when I finally did watch it.. my reaction pretty much boiled down to EWWW.
The LV steamer trunk of baggage made me laugh. :)
I'm not normally one to pick holes in Bollywood continuity or logic, but the bit where Puja dresses up as a bride - whose clothes are they? Whose jewellery? She can't have brought all of that with her from India, surely? Certainly not the clothes, as she had previously shown absolutely no signs of being the sort of Indian girl who dresses that way.
I can only assume she was staying in Anupam Kher's room.