Jets! Sharks! Fanny packs! Josh

Junkity junk. What a disappointment. Should have known better than to get a West Side Story remake. Neither compelling nor remotely realistic, even with my recent Bollywood-seduced suspension of disbelief. With, of course, a few fabulous dance sequences: some Latin dance (perhaps becuase it is set in Portugese-colonized Goa?) and a costume ball - "Who could this mysterious, enchanting stranger be behind the mask? Oh my goodness, it's the boy I'm not supposed to love because he comes from the enemy gang!"

Best summarized by saying that one of the two gang leaders, played by SRK, keeps his gun in a fanny pack emblazoned with his name in craft-store paint. You cannot, I repeat cannot, be taken seriously as a bad-ass if you wear a fanny pack.